Helpful - A Help Or A Fool

Have a friend who has always enjoyed singing, just like I do. In fact, we patronise K-Box quite regularly and each time we would spend hours singing our hearts out. It has always been my friend's dream to become a singer and he has always hoped to be given the chance to show that he does have the voice to be one. Thus, when Channel U organised the '绝对 Superstar' competition (a Chinese version of Singapore Idol), he was very excited about it. But he wasn't sure if he should take part as he felt that his appearance would be a hindrance to him. I persuaded him to give it a try as it was an opportunity that shouldn't be missed. (He missed Singapore Idol as he wasn't confident singing in English). He was still very uncertain on the day of registration and I had to actually make him believe that I was interested in taking part and got him to accompany me to go for the registration. Actually, I would have if not for the age limit; I would probably have to wait for a few more years to join the Senior Citizen category and to become the older version of William Hung. Though disappointed that I wasn't young enough to take part, I managed to coax him into signing up. Then for the next couple of weeks, he went through all his favourite songs, trying to choose one for the audition. He was quite indecisive and wasn't able to come up with one till the very last minute. I wasn't able to be present for the audition but gave him my moral support. Met up with him over the weekend and was told that he didn't make it to the next round. Well, I said at least he had a feel of how it was like singing on stage and in front of an audience. But what surprised me was that he wasn't that upset at not being able to make singing his career, rather he was more concerned about how his friends and colleagues would laugh at him when they found out that he had been kicked out of the competition. He had actually kept his participation a secret but somehow the audition had been videotaped and would be telecast at a later date. He was worried that by then the whole world, or at least his world, would know about his failure. While trying to comfort him, he started to blame me for having talked him into taking part in the competition and that now he has to face the humiliation himself. I was like, huh, it's my fault for having tried to help him realise his childhood dream. Did I really do him a disservice by persuading him to participate in the competition? Perhaps, I had really been a fool in trying too hard to help when he himself wasn't mentally prepared to go through the competition. But I bet he will also blame me if I didn't push him into signing up, saying that I should have been more persistent knowing that he has always wanted to be in the limelight. It doesn't always pay to be helpful, does it? Especially, to help someone who can be so contradicting. I do understand the awful feeling of being teased at but it doesn't have to be seen as an embarrassment or humiliation. It's how we ourselves perceive it that's important. We have all been teased at one time or another but how many of us actually perish from it? Sad to say, but those who tend to take such lost in pride seriously do have a low self-esteem. In fact, some take it so seriouly that it affected their lives and their relationship with those around them. Does that mean then we should stop helping friends who have low self-esteem lest they should blame us for their failure? Or should we only help them when we can guarantee them success, as in my friend's case, to win the competition? Perhaps, we should just leave them alone to save their face. Perhaps..........

~~~ Stay Positive! Stay Happy! ~~~
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